Mothering Basics for Newborns

I was talking with my neighbor a bit ago about the new mom up the street who was having a difficult time with her newborn. In the course of our conversation it occurred to both of us how little mothers really know about newborns going in to the whole "new baby phase" of life. In this day and age many women are not around tiny babies until they give birth to their own. I personally avoided new babies - I mean, they were so tiny and seemingly breakable. It's like someone wanting to hand you a priceless piece of glassware or something - "Nope. I'll wait until I have one of my own thank you very much. If I break mine, it will be my own fault!"

I remember my mother saying that all things concerning my new baby would "just come naturally". That belief works great until you come home from the hospital exhausted and excited only to find out your natural instincts didn't quite kick in as you thought they would. Every good mama knows to love their baby, but when it comes down to the practical how-tos a few helpful hints would be good to know before you are up at 3:00 am with a screaming newborn.

On that note - here are a few basics that will give any new mother's natural instincts a jump start...

1. When your baby eats (bottle feeds and/or nurses) you have got to burp the baby. The tiny guys often fall asleep while eating which can make "getting the bubble out" a little more difficult but trust me a belch like a grown alcoholic is in there somewhere just waiting to escape. My best luck was to stop the feeding for a moment or two when I heard or felt the baby swallow an air bubble. If Baby freaks - and he will - then, finishing the feeding first. Just burp him before he falls asleep. You want the air bubble to remain at the top of your baby and not work its way down toward the baby's bottom, if you know what I mean. You can put Baby in sitting position on your knees or put him up on your shoulder and gently pat until the burp comes out. Air will come out one way or another - if you get it out as a burp it will save you from having an upset newborn with an upset tummy. And, by keeping the tummy free of air bubbles your baby will have a good feeding and will be content - at least for a little while! Don't be alarmed when what appears to be half of what you just fed your baby comes out with the burp. This is scientifically called "spit up" and it happens to the best of babies. My first baby had "projectile spit up". Really, it was puke...all the time, all over the place, constantly. We should have entered him in some sort of spitting contest as a babe. Seriously. (Sidenote - always bring yourself and hubby an extra shirt when going out with your new baby. Spit will fly even in public. And, if you have a puker, invest in some good quality dropcloths and a couple garden hoses and you'll be just fine.)

2. Swaddle your baby snugly in a lightweight baby blanket to help Baby feel secure and warm even with all his wiggling and stretching. During the ninth month of pregnancy the little guy was trying to tear through your skin and now that he's "arrived" he'll be trying to get out of your perfectly swaddled baby blanket. Don't fret. There are dozens of special baby swaddling blankets on the market now. They have baby pockets that even the most determined wiggler can't worm his way out of. But, any thin, baby-sized blanket will work. I have personally survived four newborns without any investments in special swaddlers so it can be done. The goal in swaddling is not the ownership of the latest baby blanket fad, but to simply keep little hands and tiny toes from flailing as your newborn sleeps. Newborns twitch a lot as they rest and they can easily startle themselves. And, newborn don't like to be startled. Yes, save "peek-a-boo" for a few months and swaddle your baby instead.

3. Another basic I discovered as a new mom was walking. The fresh air would always calm my babies and my frazzled nerves as well. The sunshine, a warm breeze and some much needed change in scenery gives Baby new things to view and sense. With two of my babes I lived near the ocean. A walk along the boardwalk, with the ocean air and sound of the waves would put the baby out like a light. And, it helped me get back in shape, got me out of the house and boosted my energy. Then, I moved to the Midwest and have had fussy babies ever since. Just kidding, they have walking here too. But they are severely lacking in the "wave sounds" department.

4. Singing, humming or even just your voice works wonders when a newborn is being fussy. Talk to them! Have a little chat. Include them in your day through a bit of conversation. They know your voice from the womb and will even search for it in a crowded room as a tiny newborn. With each of our babies we loved watching them turn their heads to find us as they listened for our voice. You can sing anything - make up songs with their names or stories as they get bigger. I sang a special song for Baby Sophia when she was small and she still remembers it at age four. It still calms her when I sing it to her! I try singing to my husband, but it doesn't have quite the same effect, so you have to start young. Why not start with your newborn?!?

5. Movement is another must do with newborns. If all else fails and you have an upset babe on your hands...then get moving, sister!!! Use a baby swing, baby bouncy seat or even yourself to create a rhythmic movement that will eventually calm Baby. While pregnant my babies would be moving all over until I started moving. They'd become still and rest when I moved about my day. As newborns they will continue that pattern and calm considerably with a little movement. Slings are great to keep Baby close, secure and provide a little movement. Heck, strap Baby on your person, go for a walk and sing as you do and you'll be doing all the basics at once! Then, if your little one is still fussy...use my final basic...

6. Dada, or Daddy is the best basic of all. As new moms we need to let the new Dads get in on the action. Dads can connect with their boys or little girls in a very special way and you need a secret weapon when its past midnight and you've been up all the night before. Babies go through phases where one parent is favored or has the special touch that quiets them. It doesn't mean you aren't a great mother, but it does mean you have a great partner when Dad is able to flex some baby muscle and help in calming your little one.

And, you knew this was coming - add your own "basics" to my list. What worked well for you with your newborn? Or, what bit of advice do you wish someone had told you the first time around with a tiny baby? I especially love the "Duh, I should have known that" sort of helpful hint so if ya' got any...add them in the comments.